Monday, May 14, 2012


I've found a recent fascination with nebula's. I'm not sure what it's about as space isn't particularly interesting to me, never really has been now that I think about it. I've been using them quite a bit in photoshop designs and I guess I've kind of found a new obsession with them.
Something about the randomness of them perhaps? Or how they twist into unfamiliar organic shapes that I find easy to trace in my head over and over again? Whatever the reason I can loose myself looking at one, and if anyone were ever to attempt to navigate the folders on my computer, they would find themselves hopelessly lost in nebula's as well.

I can't help but wonder what creates these beautiful spectacles. I don't want some big scientific answer, I'd rather have one of those century old stories from a little village in the mountains no one has ever heard of before, or some big philosophical reason from a little kid. Because the way I see it you can know every scientific thing there is to know and yet you know nothing of the world around you. Only when you stop asking why and starting asking how can you move forward.

Why is overrated, and frankly quite over used. Everyone always thinks they're asking a 'big' life question when they ask why. But they aren't they're doing the same as everyone else out there and trying to think 'outside of the box' when really that's what everyone else is doing, so technically you're as far inside the box as you can get. You have to ask the mostly unlikely question you can, how.

When won't tell you anything, neither will what, because if you don't know what then you can't begin to question in the first place. Who won't tell you anything either. For instance if you go around asking who created a nebula then you may as well be talking to a brick wall because that's how much information you're going to get.

To me life is about the how. How can I do the EXACT same thing as someone else and get such a different result? As similar as why and how are, it's all about how you use them. You can easily substitute why for how, or the other way around, but only when you start asking the unexpected can you really get the answers you're looking for. Call me crazy if you want but I believe that life is about finding the most unexpected thing to ask, and doing just that, for only then can you get an answer that makes perfect sense, while everyone else runs circles around pointless questions.

Questioning Chances

Friday, May 11, 2012


I made it! I'm going to Germany! Though this news is at least a week old, if not a few days more. Thought I'd update anyway. -- Panic mode

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Sickness & Hair ideas

It happened I got sick and it was hell and now I'm almost better and I think I might have it again.

Here's the story of my last couple of weeks MIA (Missing In Action). I woke up two Fridays ago and had no voice whatsoever. That really sucked, but I dealt with it. By Monday I still had no voice. Tuesday I didn't have a voice for a majority of the day but around five at night it came back. Unfortunately once my voice returned my health took a spiral downward and lets just say it was a week and a half of pure torture. But now I'm better and back to the world for the time being.

On a different note April is fast approaching, the month when I will find out if I'm going to Germany next year.

Now to the second main point of this post. I'm having hair issues. Right now my hair reaches to just below my shoulders not a bad thing at all, except that it's at that perfect length where I have no idea what to do with it. I know that I'm going to cut it once more before I leave for Germany because I'd rather not have to get a haircut in a language I don't speak.

Any ideas?

Ball of Sunshine.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Help me out here guys!

Please click this link:

Monday, February 6, 2012

Updates! Updates! Updates!

I have a few updates to share with all you (probably invisible or non existent) readers!

FIRST! I got a girlfriend and she's adorable! She makes it really hard not to fall for her and I, unable to resist her charms fell hard and fast. Damn me. But seriously she's adorable, and cute, and funny and awesome and now I'm babbling.


SECOND! I've figured out, and put together a to do list for my book! I consider this a huge success considering that I've been meaning to do it for like two months now. I've also gotten my hands on a bunch of research books. The librarians at my library kept giving me weird was a little awkward.

THIRD! I found some new German music to listen to!!!

Culcha Candela - Schöne Neue Welt
(Wouldn't let me embed it)

Culcha Candela - Monsta
(Wouldn't let me embed it)

FOURTH! Now for the new Korean music.

Screw this I'm starting a music blog!

Off to create

Monday, January 30, 2012

Deeply Cut

I was sitting on the bus after school minding my own business when this girl comes up and asks me why my hair is red. (For those of you that don't know my hair is red) this is how the conversation went:

"Why is your hair red?" Girl.
"Because I dyed it." Me.
"Are you sure? Or did god make it red that way? Or did your mom make it red for 'god'?" Girl

I can understand that she's young so I don't hold it against her in the slightest. After all how could she know I don't believe in a single god? She couldn't.

The real trouble came when a seventh grade girl got on the bus. (There were only three people on the bus aside from me.) She started questioning me about everything under the sun, even figured out that I'm a lesbian pretty quickly. Still not quite sure how that happened, but she was cool with it so it didn't matter. What she wasn't cool with was that I'm planning to go to Germany next year as an exchange student. Conversation went something like this:

"What are you gonna do when they rape you?" Her.
"They aren't going to. This is one of the safest programs, it's been around for years and all the host families go through background checks and interviews and things." Me.
She didn't like that answer as her voice grew louder, and harsher. "Yes they will. They're going to put you in a whore house." Her.

That totally threw me off, but I didn't show it. She continued on and on for about six city blocks, until she went on to say this, and I QUOTE:

"Why would you want to go to Germany they're a bunch of Hitlers?"

To that I could only stare at her appalled that she would say that. If she knew ANYTHING about German history, or history of WWII then she would know that only a small portion of Germany actually agreed with Hitler, the rest opposed him.

What really pissed me off though was that I'm mostly German, my family is German, most of my friends are German, and the German people are amazing people. I love Germans, the culture, and the language. That someone is so ignorant to the world around them DISGUSTS me to no end.

So I simply stared at her for a long few moments before saying, "I'm German. So is my family. Most of my friends live in Germany." The look on her face was priceless. Not because she was sorry, not because she felt bad for saying what she had, but because I was the one who heard it.

She has grown up thinking it's okay to generalize, a very large, group of people like that. She had no problem when I was a lesbian, which is a great thing trust me. No, her problem was when I was German. Because Apparently the fact that I'm German makes me Hitler. She insulted me more deeply than I've ever been insulted before in my life. She cut me so deeply that I will never be able to look her in the eye ever again.

My generation needs to learn that this is not okay. This is not acceptable behavior for ANYONE. Generalizing is bad, terrible. And insulting a group of people you know little about, is even worse. I'm so deeply horrified that she said that. At the time I wanted to stuff her in a box and lock it away deep down where no one would ever hear her speak again, that's how embarrassed I was.

You can say, 'oh it's just that she's young' or 'she just hadn't learned about that yet.' But when you really think about it on a grander scale, she DOES know that it's not okay to generalize people. She DOES know, that that is a blanket statement and is incredibly hurtful to those it effects. She does know that it was wrong, and I saw it written all over her face.

Please, please, please, teach your children, your friends, you cousins, siblings, family, EVERYONE, that generalizing is NOT okay and that we need to STAND UP and teach our children what is right and what is wrong.

Will you stand with me?


Saturday, January 21, 2012

Psychology and Writing

So I read this really interesting article today about what drives your character in a story, like their deep down thoughts, regrets, fears and morals. I write out a character outline for each of my characters before or as I'm writing and I include a few things like fears, basic personality, family all that kind of stuff but I realize after reading this article that I never really delve that deeply into what drives them and the like.

It mentions that you should find your characters primary overarching goal, along with their basic goals, this is part I'm usually very null on until the story reveals it to me. Otherwise I just draw up a blank.

The next big thing is covers is fatal flaws, those things that if your antagonist figured out could do serious damage to your character with. Their little insecurities and stuff they try to hide. It's interesting that they cover this because as with their goal I wait for my characters to reveal it to me and they usually don't, or if they do it's very vague.

When it talks about strengths and how the author of the article believes that the best villains have admirable qualities, but have simply fallen prey to their own flaws and wants, was an interesting view on things. I've never thought about it in that way, I just tended to think about the fact they something happened to make them this way and I'll have to wait until they figure out what it is before I get to know.

I tend to let my characters tell me their story as I write, finding that you can learn all sorts of interesting things from them.

The section on fears was so far the most interesting to one to me. The author make a reference to Snow White and how the queen being told that she was no longer the most beautiful could have been due to aging. So she has Snow White killed, kind of, to regain her status as the most beautiful. The author then goes on to think through what Snow White might do when she no longer is the most beautiful, and falls to aging.

Everyone has secrets and finding out how your characters affect them has always been interesting to me. One of my characters in a story I'm working on right now is stuck in inner turmoil of having left her home as it was being cut down. She feels guilty for leaving but knows she would have been killed if she had stayed. She's too scared to tell anyone fro fear of what they will think of her so she keeps it a secret what was going on. By doing this she just puts herself through more conflict.

This article was incredibly interesting to me, and I believe it will help me quite a bit in my writing.

Off to write!

Thoughtful Writer

Thursday, January 19, 2012

New Discovery


I discovered Jonny James after he followed me on Twitter, yes I am an active user of Twitter. (!/AndreasSnow)
I then proceded to stalk his facebook band page and well I really like his music and felt the absolute need to SHARE.

So here it is, awesome music.

#PromoteArtists #PromoteGoodMusic

Friendly Promoter

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Been a while

It's been a while since I've posted. My life has become algebra 2 homework, chemistry homework, and four episode marathons of Sanctuary a Syfy show I've recently become hooked on. So in other words I've been either doing homework, or spending a few hours relaxing for once.

It's been quite lovely being able to relax. :)

Well off to watch another episode of Sanctuary while doing chem.